One in the endless list of things I don't understand

[forsyth]

Okay. One of the time-tested plots of things is two people fighting over the affections of a third. That's all well and good, classic, completely understandable. Except. The thing I don't get about it. Okay. So the thing is. You lure this person away from whoever they're currently with, for whatever justification (they're a jerk, they don't deserve them, etc, etc), whatever, right? Hurray for the hero, and the jerk gets his comeuppance, right? (substitute appropriate gender terms as available, but I'm a guy, and it's slightly more common to see men fighting over women, so)

For example. Spiderman 2. MJ runs off from the wedding because she realizes she loves Spidey. AWWWW. So kyoote!

Except, here's the thing. If the person could be lured away from someone else, wouldn't that kind of be a sign they can be lured away from YOU, too? You're basically betting you can be more awesome than every other person they meet ever, or that somehow, this time's different, even after you've proved their loyalty has limits. Maybe it's just me, but that sounds stupid and self-defeating.

Now, it may make perfect sense from an evolutionary perspective (after all, sometimes only one time's necessary for genes to get passed on), and maybe you'd only have to be awesomer than the world for long enough for all the pheremonic and other sorts of semi-instinctive pair bonding things to kick in, and I guess that could work, but still. And yes, I know humans are more complicated than I'm going into here, but it still doesn't make sense. Steal someone away from who they used to be with, then you have no cause to be surprised when they get stolen by someone else.

Actually, that might make a good plot point for something. Character A steals character B's affections from character C, then character A is shocked, SHOCKED! when character D steals character C's affections. And character C goes "Well, dude, that you could steal me away really shoulda bee a clue."

I dunno, maybe I'm just cynical tonight.

Comments

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

It's one of those situations where intellectual logic Does Not Apply. Hormones and psychology and wish-fulfilment and stubbornness and emotions are the drivers. And as you said, it's probably based on the "Can I get together with person X long enough to pass on my genes, hopefully multiple times, doubly-hopefully putting in enough effort along the way so that they don't run off with someone else?" factor.

There's a logic, but it's the bleak logic of evolution and genetics and probability rather than the clean logic of the mind. They have different goals, and when it comes to relationships (especially among hormone-fuelled teens and tweens), the goals of the flesh ride roughshod over all others.

We dress it up as 'romance' and 'passion' and 'young love', but it's really all about the chance to get your DNA together with a better quality and range of partners than those you perceive as rivals. Stealing a really attractive person away from a rival boosts your own reproductive chances (and often, social standing) and decreases the rival's all in one go, making it a very desirable option from the viewpoint of reproductive logic.