Another question

[forsyth]

Why do women and men still expect such different things from relationships? Shouldn't somebody, somewhere along the line, have gone "Okay, folks, this isn't working out. We need something simpler here."

Comments

[forsythferret.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's any way to do a real scientific survey on something like that. Or if there is, it'd be ridiculously complex, since it's have to involve X hundred people, of all sorts of different types, and take probably at least a year, and everyone involved would have plenty of reason to lie.

However! I have gotten "just friends" from a great many more women than men.

Wait, that came out wrong.

[leticia.livejournal.com]

These things - our perceptions of them - are so deeply coded, that lying isn't the issue.

A study was done; several teachers, male and female, were videotaped dealing with their classes. They thought they were dividing their attention evenly between male and female. But when the tape was timed, the split was approximately 70%/30%.

Needless to say, these results shocked the teachers. They may a concentrated effort to do better.

Results? Everyone, teachers, boys, /and/ girls felt that the girls were getting more than their share...

...the split was 60%/40%, with males still getting the lion's share.

If any of them had been asked, they would have given inaccurate answers not out of any intent to lie, but because our culture deeply codes the subjugation of women.

Are we getting better? Yeah, I think so. But it's warning to all of us who want actual equality - as I assume you do - to always, always rethink our assumptions about gender interactions. What everyone knows, what everyone perceives... isn't always true.

[forsythferret.livejournal.com]

I know, you mentioned those results before. I was talking more about doing a scientific study of "just friends". You can't really just plop a tape recorder into a classroom for something like that.