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Forsyth ([personal profile] forsyth) wrote2005-01-09 11:59 pm
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Forsyth and a King have a Short Conversation

A bit of a story, from a mostly-unwritten story. I think those involved should be evident from the title, the exact context will be explained if/when I get around to writing the rest of the story.


"You are weak, you and your kind!" the King snarled.


"Wow, you're just full of cliches for a guy puking into a chamber pot, aren't you?" I asked.


"You have... urk," he said, then heaved again, "You are a coward, with no honor, to fight like this, like a woman."


I shook my head at him. "Well, yeah, I though this was common knowledge. Being three feet tall and all doesn't make it a very good idea for me to fight like you, now does it?"


The king snarled at me, then heaved again. There wasn't anything left, but it was still gross. Of course, if he thought this was fun, just wait until the other things kicked in. "Guards! Guards!" he yelled.


"We've been through that part already. They're not feeling very well either, but nothing permanent. So, now can we sit down and talk about things like relatively civilized people? This is really getting old."


"Never!"


"Oh, okay then. I'll be back later, I've got other things to do. See if you feel more like talking then, since you're not going anywhere."
He snarled again, which would've been much more intimidating if he didn't have puke all around his mouth. "You missed a spot, right there, on the left side," I said, then left.


And glad to, too, the smell and noises were starting to make me sick. Some people are quiet sicks, the king evidently wasn't. What, I should go out and fight his whole army individually? That's the stupid kinds of things Heroes do, which is why so many end up dead. I walked away from his tent and through the rest of the camp, it was pretty quiet, most of his troops weren't feeling that well either. I couldn't claim all the responsibility for it myself, there were far too many stewpots for me to get to all of them. It's good to have help. Tsk, all these people, all this stuff, all the way out here, and the king was still talking in cliches. He prized strength, which is good and all, but doesn't really do much good unless you know where to use it. That's the part that seems to trip so many people up.


[meta: fiction]