[personal profile] forsyth
In general, I try not to swear that often. It's not out of a sense that they're "bad" words, or anything like that. I've gotten looser about that as I've gotten older, and it depends who I'm around. When I'm around people who swear more often, I do too, for example. But the reason I try not to swear is because they're powerful words. Not in and of themselves, they're just sounds. But the reactions they can get from other people, and the emphasis they place on things. It's a lot more meaningful when somebody who rarely swears refers to somebody as a "fucking asshole" than when it's done by somebody who says fuck every third word. That's why stuff like "fuck the police" was a lot more revolutionary in the wake of the Leave It to Beaver 50s than now. But when you overuse a word that used to have power because of shock value, or because of its meaning, or whatever, it gets watered down. Eventually to the point of being almost meaningless. Just look at politics or marketing, and how many words both of those have pretty much destroyed.

I'm slow to make friends. This might just be because of being an introvert, or a poorly socialized nerd, all the regular reasons of people on the Internet. Sometimes it feels like whatever part of peoples' brains let them make connections to others easily is just broken or atrophied for me. But at least part of it is because to me, "Friend" is a pretty big word. Not like in those after school specials where the plucky heroes would tell the henchman "You're our friend! Yeah!" and he'd go, "Really?" and then let them out and betray the villain. But, a friend is more than just somebody you hang around with sometimes, or work with. At least for somebody worth calling a friend, I'd figure. So maybe it's not so much that I'm slow to make friends, but that I'm slow to call them actual friend. So my circle of friend friends is fairly limited. Some people I've known and gamed with for years, and they're still basically just gaming buddies, not friends, if that makes any sense. It takes time to get to know somebody and decide to trust them and all that sort of thing. The stuff it takes to make somebody a friend.

Most of the time, that goes double for relationships. There's only one time I can think of when I started totally just crushing on somebody from how they looked. That never managed to go anywhere, either, unfortunately. But most of the time, before I can figure out if I'm interested in somebody, I have to get to know them. Which takes time. Of course, by the time I feel like I know somebody well enough to be interested in them, that whole "friend zone" has kicked in, and the lady isn't interested, or has decided I'm obviously not interested. So that doesn't work out well either.

Maybe I'm putting too much weight onto words that are, really, just words. Because I'm a nerd, or because I spend a lot of time on the Internet, which is made up of words, porn, and pictures of cats. Or maybe because I fancy myself to be a writer, so I put too much emphasis on using words right, or just think they're more important than they are. But if words didn't have power, then why would I bother wanting to be a writer? And if they have power, well with power comes responsibility. Right, true believers?

Date: 2007-01-29 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amazingadrian.livejournal.com
I agree with you totally on most of your points Fors. I don't see the point behind swearing if it isn't to effect some kind of purpose, weather that purpose be to add emphasis or emotion to a statement, or to reveal how one truly feels about the subject matter.

I know what you mean too, about the friends issue. It's hard for me to really make friends in real life (that said-outside of the internet) because past experiences with burgeoning friendships have made things difficult. Typically, my first instinct is to not bother getting to know someone, and this bothers me a great deal. Though you know, even with all the people I've met through the net, I've got my friends, and then I've got my true-friends. Though it's hard to say for someone you commonly associate with online, as people tend to come across differently in reality. Even then, though, you notice the difference in the people who just want to hang with you and associate with you because of common interest in something, and the ones who stick around and offer you genuine support.

I'd like to think that maybe by being one of the latter myself, I can come to associate with more of that kind. We shall see. :)



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