Oops, out of time.

[forsyth]

It was quite possibly the biggest gathering of literary critics and theorists in the world. Security was tight, not simply against the standard supervillains, but the masses of aggrieved writers who would be more than happy to help Darwin's Chainsaw of Natural Selection along. They were all gathered here for the answer to the most important question of all literary thought.

Inside, all was in readiness. The crowd sat hushed and anxious.

The presenter, the eminent Carlos Fontana (B.S.) stepped up to the podium. "I won't bore you with pleasantries. All stories can be encapsulated in a few simple words..."