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Who am I today?
Am I the same person I was five years ago Would I then recognize me now? Would I think I'm still me, or like who I've become?
I don't know. I've changed a lot in five years. I was reminded tonight by visiting one of my old IRC haunts, and somebody recognized me from a game we used to play, something I'd completely forgotten about. People I'd completely forgotten about. If I didn't remember it, was it still part of me?
And then I found a link to an archive of the witticisms we used to do, and some of mine that'd been voted into the hall of fame. Which was kinda weird, and cool too, though. But it made me think, because I don't know if I'd be able to make some of those jokes today. Which isn't always good. And the people, I don't know what happened to any of them. We all drifted off, at various times, as we drifted away from Magic, from school, and so on. And the thing is, I wouldn't even recognize them if I ran into them. How would we even know we'd known each other? It wouldn't be something that came out in random conversation, really. I could meet one of them, pass them by, and not know it. I could meet some of them, and make friends, or enemies, and we'd never know unless the subject came up somehow, or we traded IMs or something. But not even then, maybe. I have many, many ICQ contacts that've been dead for years, old friends I haven't been up to deleting. Or wanted to, really. But how would I know? I wouldn't.
I miss a lot of these people, at times like these, in the early mornings, when I'm feeling nostalgic. People I'd have hung around with at this time, years ago. People who I talked with, knew well, made friends with, and they just disappeared. I wonder what happened to them. And I wonder if they'd recognize me, or if I'd recognize them. Would we still have anything in common besides the people we used to be?
Tags: Mindscribbles, Me, The Internets
I don't know. I've changed a lot in five years. I was reminded tonight by visiting one of my old IRC haunts, and somebody recognized me from a game we used to play, something I'd completely forgotten about. People I'd completely forgotten about. If I didn't remember it, was it still part of me?
And then I found a link to an archive of the witticisms we used to do, and some of mine that'd been voted into the hall of fame. Which was kinda weird, and cool too, though. But it made me think, because I don't know if I'd be able to make some of those jokes today. Which isn't always good. And the people, I don't know what happened to any of them. We all drifted off, at various times, as we drifted away from Magic, from school, and so on. And the thing is, I wouldn't even recognize them if I ran into them. How would we even know we'd known each other? It wouldn't be something that came out in random conversation, really. I could meet one of them, pass them by, and not know it. I could meet some of them, and make friends, or enemies, and we'd never know unless the subject came up somehow, or we traded IMs or something. But not even then, maybe. I have many, many ICQ contacts that've been dead for years, old friends I haven't been up to deleting. Or wanted to, really. But how would I know? I wouldn't.
I miss a lot of these people, at times like these, in the early mornings, when I'm feeling nostalgic. People I'd have hung around with at this time, years ago. People who I talked with, knew well, made friends with, and they just disappeared. I wonder what happened to them. And I wonder if they'd recognize me, or if I'd recognize them. Would we still have anything in common besides the people we used to be?
Tags: Mindscribbles, Me, The Internets
no subject
I agree, it's weird looking back and seeing a different person. 's like looking in a mirror and comparing it to a photo and realising how much the outer-person has changed. Looking back, reading logs, feeling embarassed about what you thought was cool, edgy, well written was unadulterated hogswaddle.
Course, part of growing is making unadulterated hogswaddle. Some adulterated, most not.
You can take your chaos butterfly theory, your ripples of influence, random chance, predetermination, self-determination. I think shit-happens sums it up succinctly and in theme. It's all a matter of what types. I'm sure that shit-predicting will be a new field in the future, help mould the you you want to be by external chance effects. Like you said "would we still have anything in common besides the people we used to be." Nature vs nuture. And, indeed, all the things that could have happened but didn't, and did happen that chance helped happen.
no subject
Sad how it crumbled away over the years. *pours out some ROM for her homedisks*
Shit-predicting. Hee. Sounds like bonecasting.