Limits of my Understanding
Oct. 31st, 2006 01:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
forsythThere's a lot of things I know I don't understand. Especially lately, I've become more aware of the limitations of my own understanding. None of that "Things Man Was Not Meant to Know" nonsense, but more Things I Don't Get. I mean, there's some things we probably can't know, at least not yet. Either because we don't have enough information, or it's something our brains never had to evolve to wrap around back when we were hunting mammoths on the African plains. Like six dimensional geometry and stuff. Which isn't to say we'll never be able to understand them.
But that's not the kind of not understanding I'm talking about. The stuff I'm talking about is more mundane. The kinds of stuff I don't understand because of how I've lived so I never learned it early enough. Or the kind of stuff that's opposite a lot of the things I care about. Or the kind of stuff I just haven't put the time and/or effort into learning about it and understanding. And there's probably some things I'm unconsciously blocking myself from understanding. And there's some things where I can practically FEEL there's something important and meaningful there, I can feel the shape and edges of it, I know it's there, but I just can't quite grasp it.
For example, Religion. This isn't really an anti-religion rant, this is a "I don't understand this" post, but might still offend some people. I'm still curious though. I'm not sure which way I don't get it, and I realize it's ironic considering just the other day I had a post arguing with a demoness. There's a lot of kinds of religions, so I'm gonna talk mostly about monotheism, 'cause I've grown up in the US, with Christianity everywhere. But most of the stuff I don't get applies to any of the main monotheistic religions currently active. Some of them don't apply to other kinds of religions, though those have their own things I don't get.
Might as well start at the top. I don't get God. Well, that's not exactly true, I can understand the appeal of having somebody who you know loves you no matter what. That's a really comforting idea. And I can understand the appeal of having somebody to confirm what you're doing is right. I mean, there's a bunch of totally different things people get from believing in God. I get that. Well, no. I get that there's an appeal there, but I don't get the appeal of most of them.
See, the thing is. I don't get the whole "all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving" thing. I can't reconcile all three of those with looking at the world. The old problem of evil, which a lot of great thinkers have chewed on. None of the answers I've seen have really satisfied me. "Mysterious ways" is just a cop-out. Even if it's true, it doesn't do a bit of good, I mean, if we can't understand God, why bother? What's the difference between a completely inexplicable God and no God? Some of the other explanations, like as a requirement for free will, or to make the Universe work how it is, or whatever are a little more useful, except they don't really explain anything either, and they kinda contradict the "all-knowing and all-powerful" bits, as far as I can tell. Yes, as a writer I understand the power of limitations and the requirements for drama and so on, but that's not really a very comforting vision, especially if I'm not one of the main characters. Making suffering a requirement of the world to make things work out right seems weird, since I'd figure with all knowledge and all power there'd be some way to make a universe that doesn't involve all that.
But even more fundamentally than that, I guess I kinda don't see the point. I don't see how it matters. In our everyday lives, does it make any difference how we're going to live if there's a God or not? And as far as I can figure, any worthwhile God probably care less about what specific church you went to or if you said whatever magic words, compared to how you lived your life. This idea, ironically, I got way back as a kidlet, from the end of C.S. Lewis's Narnia series.
There's some visions of God that I just reject out of hand. Like the petty, vicious God of the fundamentalists. Frankly, if God's really that vindictive and judgmental, I'd rather hang out in Hell with all the interesting people. Even if they were right, I still wouldn't care, because that kind of God isn't worthy of respect as a person. Much less love or worship or anything else. That kind of God's an asshole.
Even with the more benign visions of God, I still just don't get it. Maybe I just have too much of a distrust of hierarchies and rulers. Maybe it's linguistics, with so many things that talk about "Lord this" and "King of all that" and other feudal leftovers. I don't like the idea of kings at all, as most anybody who's gonna read this probably already knew. Maybe it's my lack of imagination to be able to figure something perfect and trustworthy with Real Ultimate Power. Maybe I just find the idea of God watching you all the time creepy. (Better be good, for goodness sake!)
And one of the big things I already mentioned above. I'm just not sure it makes a difference. Oh, I know it does for some people, but I don't see how it makes the universe any simpler or more explicable, which sorta makes the whole question irrelevant in a way. I don't think it'd change how I live my life, so I probably shouldn't waste the time writing up way too long and rambling LJ entries about religion. But obviously I do think it's important, or at least important to try and understand why it matters to other people, which is why I made this post. Maybe I should just try and find a theology or comparative religion course to take, or see if I can find a Universalist church or somewhere that doesn't mind questions to go ask.
Yeah, some kinds of polytheism get around most of the objections above, 'cause their gods aren't all-knowing or all-seeing, and quite a few of them are frankly dicks. But I have other issues with other kinds of religions, which I'll probably get into in other posts.
But that's not the kind of not understanding I'm talking about. The stuff I'm talking about is more mundane. The kinds of stuff I don't understand because of how I've lived so I never learned it early enough. Or the kind of stuff that's opposite a lot of the things I care about. Or the kind of stuff I just haven't put the time and/or effort into learning about it and understanding. And there's probably some things I'm unconsciously blocking myself from understanding. And there's some things where I can practically FEEL there's something important and meaningful there, I can feel the shape and edges of it, I know it's there, but I just can't quite grasp it.
For example, Religion. This isn't really an anti-religion rant, this is a "I don't understand this" post, but might still offend some people. I'm still curious though. I'm not sure which way I don't get it, and I realize it's ironic considering just the other day I had a post arguing with a demoness. There's a lot of kinds of religions, so I'm gonna talk mostly about monotheism, 'cause I've grown up in the US, with Christianity everywhere. But most of the stuff I don't get applies to any of the main monotheistic religions currently active. Some of them don't apply to other kinds of religions, though those have their own things I don't get.
Might as well start at the top. I don't get God. Well, that's not exactly true, I can understand the appeal of having somebody who you know loves you no matter what. That's a really comforting idea. And I can understand the appeal of having somebody to confirm what you're doing is right. I mean, there's a bunch of totally different things people get from believing in God. I get that. Well, no. I get that there's an appeal there, but I don't get the appeal of most of them.
See, the thing is. I don't get the whole "all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving" thing. I can't reconcile all three of those with looking at the world. The old problem of evil, which a lot of great thinkers have chewed on. None of the answers I've seen have really satisfied me. "Mysterious ways" is just a cop-out. Even if it's true, it doesn't do a bit of good, I mean, if we can't understand God, why bother? What's the difference between a completely inexplicable God and no God? Some of the other explanations, like as a requirement for free will, or to make the Universe work how it is, or whatever are a little more useful, except they don't really explain anything either, and they kinda contradict the "all-knowing and all-powerful" bits, as far as I can tell. Yes, as a writer I understand the power of limitations and the requirements for drama and so on, but that's not really a very comforting vision, especially if I'm not one of the main characters. Making suffering a requirement of the world to make things work out right seems weird, since I'd figure with all knowledge and all power there'd be some way to make a universe that doesn't involve all that.
But even more fundamentally than that, I guess I kinda don't see the point. I don't see how it matters. In our everyday lives, does it make any difference how we're going to live if there's a God or not? And as far as I can figure, any worthwhile God probably care less about what specific church you went to or if you said whatever magic words, compared to how you lived your life. This idea, ironically, I got way back as a kidlet, from the end of C.S. Lewis's Narnia series.
There's some visions of God that I just reject out of hand. Like the petty, vicious God of the fundamentalists. Frankly, if God's really that vindictive and judgmental, I'd rather hang out in Hell with all the interesting people. Even if they were right, I still wouldn't care, because that kind of God isn't worthy of respect as a person. Much less love or worship or anything else. That kind of God's an asshole.
Even with the more benign visions of God, I still just don't get it. Maybe I just have too much of a distrust of hierarchies and rulers. Maybe it's linguistics, with so many things that talk about "Lord this" and "King of all that" and other feudal leftovers. I don't like the idea of kings at all, as most anybody who's gonna read this probably already knew. Maybe it's my lack of imagination to be able to figure something perfect and trustworthy with Real Ultimate Power. Maybe I just find the idea of God watching you all the time creepy. (Better be good, for goodness sake!)
And one of the big things I already mentioned above. I'm just not sure it makes a difference. Oh, I know it does for some people, but I don't see how it makes the universe any simpler or more explicable, which sorta makes the whole question irrelevant in a way. I don't think it'd change how I live my life, so I probably shouldn't waste the time writing up way too long and rambling LJ entries about religion. But obviously I do think it's important, or at least important to try and understand why it matters to other people, which is why I made this post. Maybe I should just try and find a theology or comparative religion course to take, or see if I can find a Universalist church or somewhere that doesn't mind questions to go ask.
Yeah, some kinds of polytheism get around most of the objections above, 'cause their gods aren't all-knowing or all-seeing, and quite a few of them are frankly dicks. But I have other issues with other kinds of religions, which I'll probably get into in other posts.
