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Day 1 - Craptacular Beginnings 1266/50,000
I'll probably write more before going to bed, but this is, technically, the end of day 1. So a word total. 
What I've got so far is, mostly, crap to be frank. As well as being probably not how I'm gonna actually do the plot, but oh well, at least I got started. C/P below the cut.
Famous Last Words
Chapter 1
The pamphlet read "SO YOU WANT TO BE A NINJA" in big bold print red letters. Which Jayridge didn't think was very sneaky or ninjalike, but she supposed you had to make exceptions for advertising. The rest of the front was black, except for the caption at the bottom, "There are at least ten ninjas in this picture. Can you spot them all?" She'd spent a week trying, back when she first got the pamphlet, and hadn't found a single ninja. Which was probably the point. With any luck, there'd be an answer key in the final package that should be arriving any day now. Jayridge had sent her final exam in to the Kanhiro Island Vocational and Technical School of Ninjistu (a wholly owned subsidiary of the Famous Adventurer's Correspondence School, Intl.) weeks ago. Which left only two hurdles in her way of acceptance. Getting the results back and telling her parents.
The results weren't what worried Jayridge. She'd studied the Code of the Ninja from Lesson 2. Practiced How Not To Be Seen from Lesson 3. She even knew what the names of the ninja weapons meant in real language. (Footnote 1) The entrance exam had been easy, even if a bunch of the questions had been rather odd. She'd lied a little bit on the measurements one, which was probably for making her custom-made ninja suit. But, well, who wouldn't? And puberty didn't always end magically at eighteen. She hoped.
But her parents were just... so BORING! There's no way they'd understand her, they wanted her to live a boring normal life like theirs, never go anywhere, see anything, do anything... Jayridge had just started to get her mental rant on when she realized how she was sounding, even to herself. Not just like one of those cheesy after school movies where the kids find out their parents really aren't idiots (Footnote 2), but because she was sounding like Mary Sue. The thought was enough to stop her right there.
Besides, it wasn't like she'd told... Well, anybody else about it yet. The mailbot probably knew, but she never ran into it. And it was one of those newer models, with the just-slightly-off facial projector. The few times Jayridge had run into the mailbot, it'd given her the creeps. Somehow all of its motions and facial expressions seemed to be about half a second too late. And everybody'd heard the rumors about dysfunctional personality programming, mailbots that went on rampages of packing and shipping. Whispered conversations at school had mentioned whole families, packed and neatly shipped to the Homeworld of the Bugpeople. And the metric ton of kittens airdropped into Abu Dahbi. So she made sure to just nod and smile at the mailbot, and then get away from it as quickly as she could without breaking its small talk subroutines.
But ninjitsu was an ancient and honored tradition, dating back thousands of years, wasn't it? The pamphlet assured her it was. Though Jayridge wasn't too sure about the "flipping out and killing people" bit, but that was probably optional. But still... No, she decided, she'd wait to tell them. Just until she knew. No point in making herself look dumb.
Jayridge flipped through the pamphlet, then sighed and got up from her desk. Time to practice How Not To Be Seen, she decided. Unfortunately, the only one to Not Be Seen by was her hamster, Comet. Who was lying curled on his back in the corner of his cage, snoozing. Jayridge tried to bribe him with sunflower seeds, but he barely woke up enough to stuff them in his cheek pouches and then rolled back over. "Ingrate," she muttered, shutting the cage.
Then she went and hid from her boy band poster for a while. Not just to practice, but because the way they started dancing whenever it detected you looking at it was starting to creep her out. Plus the fact that the voicechip had gotten a little fried somehow, so they all sounded like deranged chimpmunks.
* * *
Jayridge looked down at the envelope. It looked deceptively normal, as befits a ninja. Though the return address was kinda a giveaway. It was also disturbingly thin. In the "one folded sheet of paper" sense. Which could be good. Right? She put the envelope down on the table beside her bed and sat down, keeping her eyes on it. You never could tell, with ninjas. Right? It might disappear if she looked away. "Oh, the hell with it," she said, and tore the envelope open. Inside was indeed just one folded sheet of paper, which she opened and read.
"Dear Applicant," it said, "Thank you for your interest in the Kanhiro Island Vocational and Technical School of Ninjitsu. We are pleased that you felt your future educational needs would match our curriculum. As you are aware, we are a very exclusive school, dedicated to training and job placement for all our graduates.
"Unfortunately, we are unable to accept your application at this time. You are more than qualified, but we regret to inform you that our entire staff, along with our monastarey, have been kidnapped by alien space pirates. Therefore we are unable to offer the classes you expressed interest in and, in fact, any classes at all.
"Should you still be interested in our curriculum, we also have franchises in the following systems: Beta Leticia Six, Campella, and The Rat Nebula. Sincerely, Kodak Zircon, Director of Admissions."
Jayridge read the letter again. "The what? There haven't been alien space pirates around here in years! I think. Twink!"
TWINK (v2) (tm) rolled out of its dock on the desk. "Do you MIND? Some of us have day jobs!"
TWINK (v2) (tm) was one of the second generation Technical Wizardy Instant Networking Konsole (tm) personal assistants, replacing the infamous first generation TWINKs. (Footnote 3) TWINK (v2) (tm) was designed by teams of experts to appear non-threatening and inspire protective instincts in people. Consisting of a stylized humanoid torso mounted over a 360 degree rotating propulsion device that resembled nothing so much as a hamster ball, TWINK (v2) (tm) managed to pack a full suite of civilian-grade communications, research, entertainment, and interactivity software into its bright yellow chassis. And it could double as a hamster ball.
"Downloading entire seasons of 'All My Circuits' is not a day job."
The personalities of the TWINK (v2) (tm) were not as volatile as the (v1)s, but were not exactly people-pleasers. Part of why Jayridge had managed to find one on clearance. "Shows what you know," TWINK (v2) (tm) said.
"I need you to check something for me. This," she said, spreading out the letter.
"This again? Didn't I tell you it was a scam?"
"Have there been any alien space pirates around lately?"
"Of course not."
"Have you checked?"
Footnote 1: Stick, Jointed Stick, Pointy Thing, Sharp Pointy Thing One Throws At Ones Enemies to Hinder Their Progress, Stick with Pointy Thing on the End, Sickle, Sickle with Chain. Ninja creativity is usually pointed towards ends other than naming.
Footnote 2: They are.
Footnote 3: Sales Pitch: Get a new TWINK (v2) (tm)! New and improved! Exponential quantum storage! Advanced personality simulation indistinguishable from most* people! 95% less chance of exploding than the Version 1! New privacy interlocks to prevent AI blackmail! And available in a number** of pleasing fruit colors! (*) The boring ones, anyway. (**) Technically, one is a number.
What I've got so far is, mostly, crap to be frank. As well as being probably not how I'm gonna actually do the plot, but oh well, at least I got started. C/P below the cut.
Famous Last Words
Chapter 1
The pamphlet read "SO YOU WANT TO BE A NINJA" in big bold print red letters. Which Jayridge didn't think was very sneaky or ninjalike, but she supposed you had to make exceptions for advertising. The rest of the front was black, except for the caption at the bottom, "There are at least ten ninjas in this picture. Can you spot them all?" She'd spent a week trying, back when she first got the pamphlet, and hadn't found a single ninja. Which was probably the point. With any luck, there'd be an answer key in the final package that should be arriving any day now. Jayridge had sent her final exam in to the Kanhiro Island Vocational and Technical School of Ninjistu (a wholly owned subsidiary of the Famous Adventurer's Correspondence School, Intl.) weeks ago. Which left only two hurdles in her way of acceptance. Getting the results back and telling her parents.
The results weren't what worried Jayridge. She'd studied the Code of the Ninja from Lesson 2. Practiced How Not To Be Seen from Lesson 3. She even knew what the names of the ninja weapons meant in real language. (Footnote 1) The entrance exam had been easy, even if a bunch of the questions had been rather odd. She'd lied a little bit on the measurements one, which was probably for making her custom-made ninja suit. But, well, who wouldn't? And puberty didn't always end magically at eighteen. She hoped.
But her parents were just... so BORING! There's no way they'd understand her, they wanted her to live a boring normal life like theirs, never go anywhere, see anything, do anything... Jayridge had just started to get her mental rant on when she realized how she was sounding, even to herself. Not just like one of those cheesy after school movies where the kids find out their parents really aren't idiots (Footnote 2), but because she was sounding like Mary Sue. The thought was enough to stop her right there.
Besides, it wasn't like she'd told... Well, anybody else about it yet. The mailbot probably knew, but she never ran into it. And it was one of those newer models, with the just-slightly-off facial projector. The few times Jayridge had run into the mailbot, it'd given her the creeps. Somehow all of its motions and facial expressions seemed to be about half a second too late. And everybody'd heard the rumors about dysfunctional personality programming, mailbots that went on rampages of packing and shipping. Whispered conversations at school had mentioned whole families, packed and neatly shipped to the Homeworld of the Bugpeople. And the metric ton of kittens airdropped into Abu Dahbi. So she made sure to just nod and smile at the mailbot, and then get away from it as quickly as she could without breaking its small talk subroutines.
But ninjitsu was an ancient and honored tradition, dating back thousands of years, wasn't it? The pamphlet assured her it was. Though Jayridge wasn't too sure about the "flipping out and killing people" bit, but that was probably optional. But still... No, she decided, she'd wait to tell them. Just until she knew. No point in making herself look dumb.
Jayridge flipped through the pamphlet, then sighed and got up from her desk. Time to practice How Not To Be Seen, she decided. Unfortunately, the only one to Not Be Seen by was her hamster, Comet. Who was lying curled on his back in the corner of his cage, snoozing. Jayridge tried to bribe him with sunflower seeds, but he barely woke up enough to stuff them in his cheek pouches and then rolled back over. "Ingrate," she muttered, shutting the cage.
Then she went and hid from her boy band poster for a while. Not just to practice, but because the way they started dancing whenever it detected you looking at it was starting to creep her out. Plus the fact that the voicechip had gotten a little fried somehow, so they all sounded like deranged chimpmunks.
* * *
Jayridge looked down at the envelope. It looked deceptively normal, as befits a ninja. Though the return address was kinda a giveaway. It was also disturbingly thin. In the "one folded sheet of paper" sense. Which could be good. Right? She put the envelope down on the table beside her bed and sat down, keeping her eyes on it. You never could tell, with ninjas. Right? It might disappear if she looked away. "Oh, the hell with it," she said, and tore the envelope open. Inside was indeed just one folded sheet of paper, which she opened and read.
"Dear Applicant," it said, "Thank you for your interest in the Kanhiro Island Vocational and Technical School of Ninjitsu. We are pleased that you felt your future educational needs would match our curriculum. As you are aware, we are a very exclusive school, dedicated to training and job placement for all our graduates.
"Unfortunately, we are unable to accept your application at this time. You are more than qualified, but we regret to inform you that our entire staff, along with our monastarey, have been kidnapped by alien space pirates. Therefore we are unable to offer the classes you expressed interest in and, in fact, any classes at all.
"Should you still be interested in our curriculum, we also have franchises in the following systems: Beta Leticia Six, Campella, and The Rat Nebula. Sincerely, Kodak Zircon, Director of Admissions."
Jayridge read the letter again. "The what? There haven't been alien space pirates around here in years! I think. Twink!"
TWINK (v2) (tm) rolled out of its dock on the desk. "Do you MIND? Some of us have day jobs!"
TWINK (v2) (tm) was one of the second generation Technical Wizardy Instant Networking Konsole (tm) personal assistants, replacing the infamous first generation TWINKs. (Footnote 3) TWINK (v2) (tm) was designed by teams of experts to appear non-threatening and inspire protective instincts in people. Consisting of a stylized humanoid torso mounted over a 360 degree rotating propulsion device that resembled nothing so much as a hamster ball, TWINK (v2) (tm) managed to pack a full suite of civilian-grade communications, research, entertainment, and interactivity software into its bright yellow chassis. And it could double as a hamster ball.
"Downloading entire seasons of 'All My Circuits' is not a day job."
The personalities of the TWINK (v2) (tm) were not as volatile as the (v1)s, but were not exactly people-pleasers. Part of why Jayridge had managed to find one on clearance. "Shows what you know," TWINK (v2) (tm) said.
"I need you to check something for me. This," she said, spreading out the letter.
"This again? Didn't I tell you it was a scam?"
"Have there been any alien space pirates around lately?"
"Of course not."
"Have you checked?"
Footnote 1: Stick, Jointed Stick, Pointy Thing, Sharp Pointy Thing One Throws At Ones Enemies to Hinder Their Progress, Stick with Pointy Thing on the End, Sickle, Sickle with Chain. Ninja creativity is usually pointed towards ends other than naming.
Footnote 2: They are.
Footnote 3: Sales Pitch: Get a new TWINK (v2) (tm)! New and improved! Exponential quantum storage! Advanced personality simulation indistinguishable from most* people! 95% less chance of exploding than the Version 1! New privacy interlocks to prevent AI blackmail! And available in a number** of pleasing fruit colors! (*) The boring ones, anyway. (**) Technically, one is a number.